Level Up

It was a picture I had stared at a thousand times. But this time, the glow wasn’t from my computer screen, but from the millions of lights twinkling in the atmosphere. We had hiked to the top of Lion’s Head just in time to watch the sun fall behind the horizon and head on over to my neck of the woods. On one side of the mountain lay the vastness of a foreign ocean. Countless miles of water just teeming with life and energy. And on the other, civilization. Swooping freeways and outstretched docks that looked like the fingers of a greed driven species attempting to exploit all of the natural beauty possible. The idea arose that all of that land used to be miles and miles of beaches and my heart sank a bit. But there are two different beautifuls, and it’s funny how they are on the opposite sides of such an extreme spectrum. Man made things can be breathtaking and awe-inspiring and I could stare at a view like that all night. But on the other hand, there exists these huge mountains to the right of us, and a completely wonderful wet world below us that envelopes you in its unknown mass, forcing you to realize your size in this world (personally, I would take the ocean and the unaffected night sky any day, but that’s neither here nor there) . Anyway, although the full moon was supposed to light our way down, it decided to hang low and let us fend for ourselves. As most of you know, I am pretty damn scared of heights, but fear is temporary and regret is forever, right? So, although some of the conversation was drowned out by the rapid heartbeats in my ear, I found my footing and was reassured that we weren’t on a suicide mission. Then it was back to homework and a cold house and the refrigerator of a broke college kid. Being on top of the world was nice while it lasted.

Every day, it dawns on me a little more. After a lifetime of anticipation and a year of planning, I am in Cape Town. Every single day. I wake up here and fall asleep here, do my laundry and (regrettably) my grocery shopping and yet, it still feels like a very lucid dream. I am waking up little by little, but part of me wants to stay in dreamland because when you’re in a dream, you can do anything and I don’t want to lose that mentality. Even though school and volunteering are keeping me busy, I am blessed to be able to carry out life in such a place as this. Even the monotonous daily activities are wonderful. In a way, I want to erase anything I’ve ever said about Cape Town. Anything I have told anyone, anything I’ve written in this blog or in e-mails - anything. Because my opinion of it is changing every day. Every day I feel a little safer, a little more at home and I fall deeper and deeper in love with it every single minute. The crime you’re all so worried about has not effected me. Granted, I stay out of trouble and follow the basic rules of being a female in a foreign country, but I haven’t even witnessed anything of the sort, either. The majority of crime happens in the townships and it’s a shame that Cape Town gets such a bad reputation because of it. It really is a city that is so alive, so full of passionate and vibrant people, I hope you all get the chance to come here some day.

I saw The Tree of Life the other night and although I didn’t get it for a while (I actually still don't understand a lot of it), some ideas really dug their way into me and haven’t quite let go. Life is going to happen with or without your input so you better choose for yourself what you want to do with your short time on this planet. The only thing that should weigh on you is your own heart, your own conscience. If you know you are living a just and true life, then live on. I am finding out beautiful things about myself here. Things I think I could only have found here. The idea of that, that every different pocket of the world has something new to offer, some new puzzle piece to add to the collection of who you are, has been running in my mind lately. Think of it as a video game and the only way you can move to the next level is to collect all the coins from the different boxes. I want to make it to the next level. I want to see every horizon, every coast and desert and forest and instead of thinking how impossible it all seems, I’m thinking of what I need to do in order to make it all happen. That’s what you do to make it to the next level, isn’t it?

Live naturally,

KG